He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
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