Are we in a gay sports bar?
I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual.
Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
My new apartment is within walking distance of both the liquor store and the chinese buffet. This is either going to be my worst life choice ever or my best.
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you.
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
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