I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
Okay, this next statement may sound like a red flag but I'm tellin you, shotgunning those two beers really helped me love my child more effectively. Honest.
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
Randomize
