My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
Randomize
