I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
Randomize
