Dear male population: sorry for being such a dick tease but thanks for paying for my bar tab and drunk food
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
you will always have a special place in my vag
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
My high school reunion is Thursday so I need to find an outfit that says "Haha, you got fat and I got tits. Suck it, bitches."
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
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