im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
Change the recording on your voicemail. He found your number and my ass print on the car hood.
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
We were drunk having sex and I knocked over her bedside table/fish bowl and she jumped off to check if her fish was still alive but she made me pasta so it's cool
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
Randomize
