you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
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