In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
I just met his mom for the first time with a hang over. Then we went to watch his 8 year old cousin get baptized. Apparently his family loves me. I should drink more often.
Randomize
