my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
i really wanted you to get laid last night and i didnt think you were going to. so i posted porn on your facebook.it made sense at 3am
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
i think i scared a bird with my dick
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Randomize
