Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
I got you a housewarming gift. It starts with "A" and ends with "bottle of Jameson"
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
in my drunkeness I still was able to plan for the morning. I duck taped my keys, a water bottle full of mimosa and my cell phone to the front door.
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
My breath smells like gin and sadness
Just puked most of my soul out..
Randomize
