i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
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