your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
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