Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
Randomize
