first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
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