i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
Please sleep at your girlfriend's tonight
Why?
'Cause I wanna jack off tonight.. And you being in the room makes things awkward
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
Going to the hospital for stitches on my balls. Mom walked in on me manscaping with an electric razor. Tell NOBODY.
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
Randomize
