Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
I wish I had a Tina from Bob's Burgers in real life. She would be the best wingman.
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
You told me that you couldn't come over because you felt like you were gonna die and that houses eat you when you die, and my house couldn't eat you because your house would be jealous. That's when I knew to take the bowl away from you.
Randomize
