a guy named alex was hitting on my friend tonight. he doesnt work on wind turbines tho.
I just walked into a tree. I think it's time to go home.
after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
He called me at two in the morning to tell me he was throwing the tiny Thor hammer at moving vehicles. Apparently he missed the guy on the motorcycle.
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
Randomize
