The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
The fact that I can sew my leggings while intoxicated proves I'm a functioning alcoholic
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
Randomize
