We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
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