READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
So I'll bring my machete and we can smoke your shit.
Out of context, that is a hilariously scary message.
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
Randomize
