how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
I understand Curling. That high.
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
Randomize
