That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
when i say i joined a midget dating site why do u assume i was drunk
Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
Let's be real. I'm the Usain Bolt of running away after hookups. Fastest (wo)man alive.
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
I don't know how to say "Sorry I was banging your boyfriend before I knew about you but you're awesome and we should hang out." without just saying it.
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
Randomize
