at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
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