it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
A toast to whoever set this year's daylight savings fallback to the day after halloween, granting us another hour to detox before we pretend to be functional adults. Clearly, a partier with forethought and clear priorities. Cheers!
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Randomize
