11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
You yelled "NICE PAJAMAS" at a construction worker wearing a reflective jumpsuit while we rode past on a bike taxi
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
I woke up cuddling a ham. That's not a euphemism. I actually slept with an entire ham.
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
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