I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
Randomize
