So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
Operation Purity has been aborted
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
I had to explain to an ER nurse that I burned my dick playing onion ring toss today, your social awkwardness hardly compares.
Randomize
