I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
I'll admit it. It was a bad idea to sneak a fart out while she was taking a nap. Can you bring me a pair of underwear from my dresser. Preferably the one with the walruses in party hats one.
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
You were trust falling into bushes
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
Randomize
