Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
you are my patron saint of "too drunk for 9am". i just keep asking myself what would alyssa do as i try to regain motor function
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
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