ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
I'm doing shots of crown out of a baby bottle. My friends are sensational parents.
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
I just puked on the sidewalk. At 11am. Thought you'd like to know.
Just found out I lit my hair on fire last night.
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
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