Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
Woke up in a pool of alcohol sweat. Probably could wring out my sheets and make a decent cocktail.
I feel like one of those toads that you lick to get high or find a prince.... cept when you lick me you find a drunk whore.
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
If you're ever desperate for a guy's #, ask him to call your lost cell phone so you can find it. Some genius used that on me last night. FML
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
Randomize
