when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Randomize
