Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
Fastest way to get judgmental looks on a Sunday morning: wear sunglasses inside carrying a case of beer and thin mints at the grocery store. May or may not have ran into the glass door.
Gotta love Minnesota
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
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