***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
i will replace your cream cheese. there's enough for breakfast. you are my friend. i had guests we wanted bagels so bad im sorry. i left you notes. i love you. you have enough for a bagel or two and i will get you more. you are so pretty.
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
Randomize
