Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
No I am not eating basil off your cock
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
Randomize
