I didn't shave. On purpose
Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
Randomize
