You're completely useless in the revolution.
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
you texted me last night and told me you couldn't find the toilet.
That explains the puddle of pee in my closet.
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
Apparently i tried to feed this guy's piranhas my whole left arm.. according to him, i was "showing them whos boss, bc if they try to eat my arm, im guna punch their face"
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
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