check it out our google latitudes are spooning
First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
Holy shit I just stopped short on route 18 because I thought my gps was saying I had to turn right in 11 feet. After almost hitting the guardrail I realized I had to turn in 11 miles.
Fuck I'm high.
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
I spent part of my valentines extracting candy hearts from a woman's vagina. The entire time I was thinking "this job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes."
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
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