just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
Randomize
