only if we run a train.
done.
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize
