dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
Have you finally orgasmed yet?
Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
Unless I'm getting a singing midget telegram, I'm not going to smile
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
Not much. Some creepy guy on Grindr thinks he knows who I am and where I live. So I sent him to that place with jockstraps and bacon. Hope he has fun.
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
Randomize
