Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize
