i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
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