imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
Randomize
