Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
Am I really in your phone as Asshole Jesus??
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
Randomize
