so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
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