Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
I forgot how hot balto sounded
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
I love our relationship. We just get drunk, show each other our tits, demonstrate sexual positions and make pasta. Then you go to bed and I sit around with your mom and cry about how proud of you we are.
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
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