Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
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