if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
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