How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
Randomize
