Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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Sorry iatemyglu3stick hasn't picked any favorites yet.

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(413): View more from Massachusetts

before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave

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(706): View more from Georgia

Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later

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(630): View more from Illinois

We stopped her at 12

(708): View more from Illinois

12 shots? Or 12 midnight?

(630): View more from Illinois

Which answer would freak you out less

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(870): View more from Arkansas

I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.

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(256): View more from Alabama

I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.

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(443): View more from Maryland

You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.

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(989): View more from Michigan

Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?

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(570): View more from Pennsylvania

Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.

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(856): View more from New Jersey

She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.

(609): View more from New Jersey

Where'd she get the razor?

(856): View more from New Jersey

Not the point.

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