we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
Dude, I totally just made my launch phrase on my new phone "Wingardium Leviosa" so that when people try it and it doesn't work I can say, "It's leveeOHsa, not leveeoh-SA."
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
Randomize
