As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
Randomize
