My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
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