he changed my name in his contacts to "rick", so his mom wouldn't know he was texting me
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
Randomize