my mom just walked in on me furiously masturbating while reading twilight. needless to say, im officially out of the closet.
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
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