and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
Randomize
