Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
I'M CUDDLING WITH MY CAT AND THAT GUY SENT ME A DICK PIC. UNANNOUNCED DICK PICS ARE TERRIFYING AND MY CAT WILL NEVER BE THE SAME
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
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