That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
The brides mom put a 6 year old in charge of me to make sure I don’t get too drunk before the wedding
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
Randomize