Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
I haven't been laid since Bush was president.
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
Randomize
